Short Story ◎ Psychology

Why We Overanalyze Others' Attitudes

Exploring theory of mind, interpretation bias, and misunderstandings in communication.

  • #theory of mind
  • #interpretation bias
  • #projection
  • #communication

"Hiyori, were you angry earlier?"

Sora asked anxiously.

Hiyori was surprised. "I wasn't angry. Why did you think that?"

"Because your reply was short."

"Ah," Hiyori understood. "I was just in a hurry."

Mira wrote in her notebook. "I also often overanalyze"

Sora nodded. "Small changes in others worry me, and I imagine various things."

Hiyori asked gently, "What kind of things do you imagine?"

"'Maybe I'm disliked' or 'Maybe I did something wrong.'"

Mira wrote. "Me too"

Hiyori opened her notebook. "This might relate to theory of mind."

"Theory of mind?" Sora asked.

"The ability to infer others' minds. Humans try to read feelings from others' behavior."

Mira showed interest.

"But inference isn't always correct. Interpretation bias enters there."

Sora understood. "We see through our own filter."

"Yes. The same behavior gets different interpretations from different people."

Hiyori gave an example. "'Reply was short' is a fact. But what it means is unclear."

"Angry, busy, tired—many possibilities."

Sora admitted, "I immediately interpret negatively."

Mira wrote. "Why negative?"

Hiyori explained, "When anxiety is strong, negative interpretation bias works. You interpret ambiguous situations negatively."

"Is that self-defense?" Sora asked.

"In a way. The belief that assuming the worst prevents getting hurt."

Mira nodded.

Sora thought. "But we actually do get hurt, right?"

"Yes. Intending to prevent, you hurt yourself," Hiyori acknowledged.

Mira wrote. "Projection?"

"Sharp," Hiyori was surprised. "There's also a defense mechanism called projection."

"Projection?" Sora asked.

"Projecting your own emotions and thoughts onto others. Because you're anxious, others seem anxious too."

Sora gasped. "I was angry at Hiyori, so I thought Hiyori was angry at me?"

"It's possible," Hiyori said gently.

Mira wrote. "Don't verify?"

"Verifying is scary," Sora answered honestly. "What if they really are angry?"

Hiyori said, "But without verification, misunderstandings only grow."

"I know that."

Mira wrote. "I'm also scared"

Hiyori asked, "What are you scared of?"

"Knowing the answer," Mira wrote.

"If it's uncertain, there's still hope," Sora continued. "But if I verify, the worst might be confirmed."

Hiyori nodded. "It's an issue of tolerance for ambiguity."

"Tolerance for ambiguity?"

"How much you can endure an uncertain state. If it's low, you want to make things black or white quickly."

Sora understood. "So I interpret on my own."

"Can't leave it gray," Mira wrote.

Hiyori explained, "But most human relationships are gray. There's no clear answer."

"Then what should we do?" Sora asked.

"First, practice separating interpretation from fact," Hiyori suggested.

"What do you mean?"

"'Reply was short' is fact. 'Is angry' is interpretation. Be conscious of this distinction."

Mira wrote. "See only facts"

"Yes. Observe only what happened, without adding interpretation."

Sora tried. "Hiyori replied briefly. That's all."

"Just that," Hiyori smiled. "Adding meaning is your mind."

Mira wrote. "Next?"

"Consider multiple interpretations. Angry, busy, tired, not thinking anything."

Sora agreed. "Don't settle on just one."

"Then choose the most likely interpretation. But don't be certain."

Hiyori continued, "If needed, gently verify. Like 'Was something bothering you earlier?'"

Sora asked anxiously, "But what if that worsens the relationship?"

"As long as you ask gently, it rarely worsens," Hiyori said. "Rather, misunderstandings clear up."

Mira wrote. "Communication is verification work"

"Good expression," Hiyori acknowledged. "Verify assumptions with facts."

Sora took a deep breath. "It's difficult, but I'll practice."

"No rush," Hiyori encouraged. "Long-standing habits take time to fix."

Mira wrote. "Don't blame yourself"

"Yes. Accept yourself who tends to overanalyze."

Sora smiled slightly. "Overanalyzing might not be all bad."

"Why?" Hiyori asked.

"Because it means being sensitive to people's feelings."

"Exactly," Hiyori nodded. "It's also a manifestation of empathy."

Mira wrote. "Problem when excessive"

"It's about balance," Sora understood.

The three sat quietly. The mind's guessing game never ends. But knowing the rules makes it a bit easier.

Outside the window, clouds drifted by. Human hearts also shift like clouds. Don't try to catch them, just watch. That might be liberation from overanalyzing.