"I compared again."
Haru sighed.
"What?" Ren asked.
"Test scores. My friend did better, and I felt down."
Noa said gently. "That happens often."
"But why do I compare?"
Ren began explaining. "There's social comparison theory."
"Humans compare with others to evaluate themselves."
Haru asked. "Why can't I evaluate myself alone?"
"Because there's no absolute standard," Ren answered. "For example, 80 points on a test. Is that good or bad?"
"If the average is 50, it's good. If the average is 90, it's bad."
Noa supplemented. "Meaning is only determined relatively."
Haru understood. "So we compare."
"Yes. Psychologist Festinger proposed it," Ren continued.
"But," Haru said. "Comparing hurts."
"There's upward comparison and downward comparison," Noa explained.
"Upward comparison?"
"Comparing with someone superior to you. This causes depression."
"Downward comparison is comparing with someone inferior. This causes superiority."
Haru frowned. "Both feel unpleasant."
Ren nodded. "Yes. Comparison inherently creates suffering."
"Ressentiment."
"Ressentiment?"
"Nietzsche's concept. Envy of others corrodes the self."
Noa added. "In Buddhism too, comparison is considered a cause of suffering."
"Looking at others, blaming yourself."
Haru asked. "So should I stop comparing?"
"Not simple," Ren admitted. "Evolutionarily, comparison was adaptive."
"Grasping one's position in the group was advantageous for survival."
Noa explained. "So the brain automatically compares."
Haru was troubled. "Can't stop."
"Not completely. But you can change how you compare," Ren said.
"How?"
"From comparing with others to comparing with your past self."
Noa nodded. "Did you grow from yesterday?"
"Then it's not competition."
Haru thought. "But isn't comparison with others also necessary? As a goal."
"Good point," Ren acknowledged. "Comparison itself isn't bad."
"The problem is linking comparison to self-worth."
Noa explained. "The thought that being inferior to someone = I'm worthless."
"But that's a logical leap."
Haru began understanding. "Being inferior in one area doesn't mean I'm inferior as a person."
"Yes. Self-worth isn't determined by comparison."
Ren said philosophically. "Kant said humans are ends in themselves."
"Not evaluated as means, but existence itself has value."
Noa said gently. "You don't have value by comparing with someone."
"Existence itself is value."
Haru took a deep breath. "But society compares."
"Grades, income, appearance."
"True," Ren acknowledged. "Social systems are based on comparison."
"Competition becomes motivation."
Noa offered another perspective. "But you can choose not to be caught up in it."
"How?"
"By having your own values."
Ren supplemented. "Whatever others evaluate, you live by your own standards."
Haru asked. "But I care about others' evaluations."
"Caring is natural," Noa said. "But it's not everything."
"Evaluation is reference. But decision rights are yours."
Ren concluded. "Comparison is unavoidable. But you can avoid being controlled by it."
"Metacognition. Noticing that you're comparing."
Haru nodded. "Objectively viewing myself comparing."
"And distancing from comparison."
Noa smiled. "You are you. Others are others."
"Each traveling a different journey."
Haru felt a bit relieved. "Comparison is information. But not self-worth."
The three nodded quietly. Knowing the trap of comparison, yet walking their own paths.