Short Story ◉ Philosophy

What Does It Mean to Live with Others

Thinking existentially about relationships with others and the meaning of coexistence.

  • #others
  • #coexistence
  • #intersubjectivity
  • #relation
  • #loneliness

"It's easier to be alone, yet why are we with people?"

Haru said vaguely.

Noa was surprised. "Aren't you lonely when alone, Haru-san?"

"I am. It's contradictory."

Simon laughed. "That's humanity's essential contradiction."

"Sartre said 'Hell is other people.'"

Haru frowned. "That's harsh."

"But there's truth to it," Noa said. "Being with others always involves tension."

Mio quietly added. "You can't be complete alone."

"What do you mean?" Haru asked.

Simon explained. "Philosopher Levinas said 'The other is infinite.'"

"An incomprehensible being. Always external to me."

Noa continued. "So relating to others means facing your own limits."

"That's painful."

Haru thought. "Then why be together?"

"Because it's necessary," Mio answered briefly.

"Necessary?"

Simon supplemented. "The self is established through relationships with others."

"Hegel's theory of recognition. People establish themselves by being recognized by others."

Noa gave an example. "Babies understand their existence by being recognized by parents."

"Like a mirror."

Haru began understanding. "Without others, you don't know yourself?"

"Could be said so," Simon said. "Even solitary philosophers use language. Language is shared with others."

"Completely isolated thought is impossible."

Mio said quietly. "Others are threat and support simultaneously."

"Ambivalence."

Noa said philosophically. "Heidegger used the concept of 'being-with.'"

"Humans are fundamentally beings-with-others."

Haru said unconvincingly. "But I feel lonely sometimes."

"That's because you feel the lack of being-with," Simon answered.

"Loneliness is acutely feeling the absence of others."

Mio nodded deeply. "You can be alone without being lonely."

"You can be with many people and still be lonely."

Haru became interested. "What's the difference?"

"Quality of connection," Noa said. "Superficial contact and deep understanding differ."

Simon supplemented. "Buber proposed the relationship 'I and Thou.'"

"Not treating others as objects, but respecting them as subjects."

Haru asked. "Is that true coexistence?"

"One ideal form."

Noa offered another perspective. "But complete mutual understanding is impossible."

"Others always remain others."

Mio said quietly. "That's why respect is needed."

"Precisely because we can't understand, we hold reverence."

Haru thought deeply. "Is living with others about adjusting distance?"

"Not too close, not too far," Simon acknowledged.

"Schopenhauer's hedgehog dilemma."

"Hedgehog?"

"In cold winter, hedgehogs huddle for warmth. But getting too close, their spines prick."

Noa continued. "Maintaining appropriate distance while warming together."

Haru laughed. "That's human relationships exactly."

Mio smiled. "Being individual while being together."

Simon concluded. "Living with others is continuous conflict."

"But that conflict makes people grow."

Haru nodded deeply. "Not alone isn't easy or hell, but"

"A complex and rich experience."

The four sat quietly side by side. Carrying the mystery called others, existing together.