"Hiyori, you're always listening to someone."
Sora said. In the club room, Hiyori was once again receiving someone's consultation.
"Because I like it," Hiyori smiled.
Mira was quietly observing. Then she wrote in her notebook. "Aren't you tired?"
Hiyori was a bit surprised. "Why do you ask?"
Mira wrote. "Empathy and conformity, different"
Sora became interested. "Mira, what does that mean?"
Mira opened a psychology book. It was a page about the difference between empathy and conformity.
Hiyori read. "Empathy is understanding others' emotions while maintaining your own boundaries. Conformity is being swallowed by others' emotions."
"Am I conforming?"
Sora observed. "Hiyori, you often look tired after consultations."
"That might be true."
Mira wrote. "Feeling others' pain as your own pain = conformity"
"But that's not bad, right?" Hiyori asked.
Sora answered. "Not necessarily. But long-term, there's a risk of burnout."
Hiyori thought deeply. "True, lately I feel like I'm always carrying someone's problems."
Mira showed a new page. "Emotional boundaries"
"Boundaries," Hiyori murmured.
Sora explained. "Distinguishing your emotions from others' emotions. Empathy requires boundaries."
"But how do you distinguish?"
Mira wrote. "'They are sad. I understand they are sad' vs 'I am also sad'"
"The former is empathy, the latter is conformity," Sora added.
Hiyori understood. "I think I always became 'I am also sad.'"
"That's evidence of high empathy," Sora said. "But after helper's high comes helper's crash."
"Helper's crash?"
"When helpers collapse from helping others too much."
Hiyori sighed. "I've been feeling like that lately."
Mira gently placed her hand. An unusual physical contact for her.
"Mira..."
Mira wrote. "Hiyori, please take care of yourself too"
Sora added. "Being empathetic and self-sacrifice are different."
"But I want to help people," Hiyori said.
"That's wonderful," Sora acknowledged. "But first you need to put on your own oxygen mask."
"Like airplane safety instructions?"
"Yes. To help others, you first need to be stable yourself."
Mira showed a new note. "compassion fatigue"
"I've heard of that," Hiyori said. "A phenomenon that happens to healthcare workers and counselors."
"But it also happens in friendships," Sora explained. "Especially careful if you're always the listener."
Hiyori began self-analysis. "I can't say no. When someone's in trouble, I can't leave them alone."
"That's kindness, but also a boundary issue."
Mira wrote. "No = self-respect"
"Saying no is respecting yourself," Sora translated.
Hiyori struggled. "But if I refuse, they might get hurt."
"That's possible," Sora acknowledged. "But if you break down, long-term you can't help anyone."
Mira nodded.
Hiyori asked. "So how do I distinguish empathy from conformity? Practically?"
Sora suggested. "After a consultation, ask yourself. 'Is this my emotion? Or theirs?'"
"Then?"
"If you realize it's theirs, take some distance. Deep breath. Be conscious of boundaries."
Mira added. "Self-care = foundation of caring for others"
Hiyori smiled. "Mira, you get to the core with few words."
Mira looked away as if embarrassed.
Sora summarized. "Empathy is a balance of understanding and distance. Not too close, not too far."
"Difficult, but important."
"It takes practice," Sora said. "You might feel guilty at first."
"About drawing boundaries?"
"Yes. But it's necessary for healthy relationships."
Hiyori resolved. "From now on, I'll be conscious of my limits."
Mira smiled. Then wrote. "Hiyori can do it"
The three sat quietly. The line between empathy and conformity is invisible but certainly exists.
"Thank you, both of you," Hiyori said. "I learned something important today."
Sora nodded. "We're also learning from you, Hiyori."
Mira opened one last page. "True empathy is valuing both the other person and yourself"
Those words quietly echoed in the club room.