"I'm afraid to express my opinion."
Kaito said in an unusually weak voice.
Leo closed his book. "Why?"
"Because I might be denied."
Sora watched with interest. "What happens if you're denied?"
Kaito thought. "I get hurt. I feel like it proves I'm wrong."
Leo analyzed. "You might have high rejection sensitivity."
"Rejection sensitivity?"
"A tendency to excessively predict and react sensitively to rejection or denial," Sora explained.
Kaito nodded. "That's accurate. I always think 'I might be denied.'"
Leo asked. "Why do you think you became this way?"
Kaito looked back at his past. "I feel like my parents often denied me when I was little."
"That's highly likely to be influential," Sora said. "Childhood experiences form sensitivity to rejection."
Leo supplemented. "It can be explained by attachment theory. People with insecure attachment styles tend to fear rejection."
"Attachment style?"
"The relationship with caregivers in childhood creates patterns in adult relationships," Sora explained.
"So my relationship with my parents is affecting me now?"
"It's possible," Leo acknowledged. "But it's not determinism. If you're aware, you can change."
Kaito felt a bit relieved. "I can change."
Sora asked. "Kaito, what does being denied mean to you?"
"It proves I have no value."
"That's the problem," Leo pointed out. "You're conflating denial of opinion with denial of existence."
Kaito was surprised. "They're different?"
"Completely different," Sora emphasized. "'I think that opinion is wrong' doesn't deny your character."
Leo continued. "But people with high rejection sensitivity tend to take it as a personal attack."
Kaito pondered. "True, when denied, I feel like my entire self is worthless."
"A type of cognitive distortion," Sora said. "'All-or-nothing thinking.'"
"What do you mean?"
"When part of you is denied, you feel all of you is denied. There's no gray zone."
Kaito nodded. "Exactly that."
Leo asked. "Why are others' evaluations so important?"
Kaito couldn't answer.
Sora said gently. "You're depending on the outside for self-worth."
"Outside?"
"You're determining your value by others' approval. Not from inside, but from outside."
Kaito looked down. "I can't decide my own value."
"Many people are like that," Leo said. "As social animals, caring about others' evaluations is natural."
"But," Sora continued, "degree is the issue. Excessive dependence creates instability."
Kaito asked. "How can I decide value myself?"
Leo answered. "First, clarify your value standards."
"Value standards?"
"What's important to you. Integrity, creativity, kindness. Having internal standards."
Sora supplemented. "Then self-evaluate whether you're living according to those standards."
Kaito thought. "Evaluate by my own standards, not others' evaluations."
"Yes," Leo nodded. "Of course, you also reference others' feedback. But the final judgment is yours."
Sora said quietly. "Being denied is one piece of information."
"Information?"
"Information that 'This person holds a different opinion on this point.' Nothing more, nothing less."
Kaito's eyes widened. "I never thought of it that way."
Leo gave an example. "In science, refutation is welcomed. Because it's an opportunity to strengthen theories."
"See denial as a chance?"
"Yes. Thinking about 'Why does this person have a different opinion' broadens perspective."
Sora added. "However, you need to distinguish between constructive criticism and personal attacks."
"Can you distinguish them?" Kaito asked.
"Constructive criticism is specific with improvement suggestions. Personal attacks are vague and generalized."
Leo supplemented. "'This part could be improved this way' versus 'You're always useless.'"
Kaito understood. "Should I ignore the latter?"
"Not ignore, but recognize it as the other person's problem," Sora said. "It's unrelated to your value."
Kaito exhaled deeply. "This is hard."
"It's hard," Leo acknowledged. "Changing long-standing thought patterns takes time."
Sora proposed. "Let's start small. First, practice separating denial from rejection."
"How?"
"When denied, tell yourself 'It's just a different opinion.'"
Leo added. "And confirm 'My value doesn't change.'"
Kaito asked. "Can I really come to think that way?"
"Through repetition, it gradually becomes internalized," Sora encouraged.
Leo said quietly. "And Kaito, you're aware. That's most important."
"Aware?"
"That you excessively fear rejection. You made conscious what was unconscious."
Sora smiled. "Awareness is the first step of change."
Kaito said slowly. "Maybe I was too afraid."
"Fear itself isn't bad," Leo said. "The problem is being dominated by fear."
"How do I not get dominated?"
"Observe the fear. Notice 'Ah, I'm afraid now.' Then choose action anyway."
Sora added. "Courage isn't the absence of fear. It's acting despite fear."
Kaito laughed. "That's philosophical."
"Psychology and philosophy are close," Leo said.
Kaito showed a determined expression. "I'll try expressing my opinion at the next meeting."
"That's a good challenge," Sora encouraged. "Even if denied, your value doesn't change."
Leo added. "And you might not be denied. Predictions are often wrong."
Kaito nodded. "Predictions can be wrong, huh."
Outside the window, the rain had stopped. The journey to face fear was about to begin.
"Thanks," Kaito said. "I got a little courage."
Sora smiled. "Let's grow together."
Reasons why being denied is scary. It's because you're entrusting self-worth to the outside. But if you can become aware, you can find value from within. That journey continues.