Short Story ◎ Psychology

Night When I Don't Know My Worth

The wavering of self-worth and the quest to discover intrinsic value.

  • #self-worth
  • #self-esteem
  • #unconditional positive regard
  • #self-acceptance

The research room at night. Sora was alone, gazing out the window.

"Still here?" Hiyori came back.

"What determines a person's worth?" Sora suddenly asked.

Hiyori sat down slowly. "What happened?"

"My presentation didn't go well today. I failed in front of everyone. I wonder if I have any worth at all."

"That must have been painful," Hiyori empathized.

Kaito entered the room. "I've thought the same thing."

Sora looked surprised. "You too, Kaito?"

"All the time. When I get bad test scores, I feel like I have no value in existing."

Hiyori looked at both of them. "Then, a question. Is worth determined by being able to do something?"

Sora thought. "No... but you're not recognized without results, right?"

"Are being recognized and having worth the same thing?"

Kaito tilted his head. "Aren't they?"

Hiyori began to explain. "A psychologist named Carl Rogers proposed the concept of 'unconditional positive regard.'"

"Unconditional...?"

"Accepting existence itself without conditions. You don't have worth because you can do something—you have worth simply by existing."

Sora was confused. "But real society values results, doesn't it?"

"Yes. That's why many people suffer from conditional self-worth," Hiyori nodded. "Worth if you succeed, no worth if you fail."

Kaito nodded deeply. "That's exactly it."

"But that's extrinsic worth," Hiyori continued. "There's also intrinsic worth."

"Intrinsic worth?" Sora asked.

"Worth inherent in the very fact that you're alive. Something outside comparison or evaluation."

Kaito voiced a doubt. "Isn't that being soft? Having worth even without doing anything?"

"Good question," Hiyori smiled. "Acknowledging intrinsic worth doesn't negate effort."

Sora tried to understand. "What do you mean?"

"Rather, only with intrinsic worth as a foundation can you make healthy efforts. Because your worth doesn't waver even if you fail, you can challenge yourself."

Kaito had a realization. "Conversely, with only extrinsic worth..."

"You become afraid of failure. Because self-worth is lost," Sora continued.

Hiyori said quietly, "The presentation failure is a skills issue. It's not an issue of your worth as a person."

Sora's eyes moistened. "But it's hard to believe that."

"It's fine if you can't believe it," Hiyori answered gently. "Just consider the possibility."

Kaito looked at his hands. "I also have worth that isn't test scores...?"

"You do," Hiyori asserted. "Just by existing here, you both enrich this place."

"That's not—" Sora started to deny.

"It's an objective fact," Hiyori interrupted. "Because you were here tonight, I wasn't lonely. Because Kaito came, the dialogue deepened."

Kaito laughed softly. "Is that worth?"

"It's the most essential worth. Worth born within relationships."

Sora wrote in a notebook. "Intrinsic worth is realized within relationships."

"Yes. In complete isolation, it's hard to feel worth. But within connections, the meaning of existence becomes visible."

Kaito looked out the window. "I'm glad I came here tonight."

"Me too," Sora smiled.

Hiyori stood up. "Everyone has nights when they don't know their own worth. But having someone to think about it together—that's proof of worth."

Sora nodded deeply. Tonight, she felt like she could sense her own worth, just a little.

The presentation failure can be faced again tomorrow. For now, acknowledge the self that is here.

The night is deep, but the heart has become a bit lighter.