"I couldn't say congratulations."
Kaito said, looking down. In a corner of the cafe, the three sat together.
Hiyori asked gently. "To whom?"
"A friend. Got into their first choice school. But I failed."
Sora watched quietly.
"I couldn't genuinely be happy. I'm terrible, right?" Kaito continued.
Hiyori shook her head. "Not terrible. That's a natural emotion."
"You mean jealousy?" Kaito said self-deprecatingly.
"Including jealousy, it's complex emotions," Hiyori answered.
Sora asked. "Kaito, do you dislike your friend?"
"No, I like them. That makes it worse."
"That's the characteristic of jealousy," Hiyori explained. "Positive and negative feelings toward the person coexist."
Kaito looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"Happy feelings as a friend and frustrated feelings from comparison exist simultaneously."
Sora supplemented. "In psychology, it's called 'ambivalence.'"
Kaito nodded. "That's exactly it. My heart feels torn apart."
Hiyori said quietly. "But being able to recognize that complexity is important."
"Why?"
"Because you're facing emotions honestly without simplifying them."
Sora analyzed. "If you simply concluded 'I'm a terrible jealous person'?"
"It would end in self-hatred," Kaito understood.
"Right. But if you acknowledge 'I have happy feelings but also frustrated feelings,' you can move to the next step."
Hiyori asked. "Kaito, why do you feel frustrated?"
"That's... because I wanted to pass too."
"Let's explore deeper," Hiyori prompted.
Kaito thought. "My friend passed and I failed. Doesn't that mean I'm inferior?"
"There it is," Sora pointed out. "Social comparison is happening."
"Social comparison?"
"Comparing yourself with others to determine self-evaluation," Sora explained. "A theory proposed by psychologist Festinger."
Hiyori continued. "People constantly compare themselves with others to confirm their position."
"But isn't that natural?" Kaito asked.
"It's natural," Sora acknowledged. "The problem is how you compare."
Hiyori gave examples. "There are concepts of upward and downward comparison."
"Upward comparison is comparing with someone better. Downward comparison is comparing with someone worse."
Kaito understood. "I'm doing upward comparison now."
"Yes. And upward comparison often hurts self-esteem."
Sora supplemented. "But upward comparison has benefits too. It becomes a goal or stimulus."
"Then what should I do?" Kaito was confused.
Hiyori answered. "Change the object of comparison."
"Object?"
"Compare with your past self, not others."
Kaito had a realization. "Compare me last year with me now?"
"Right. Shift the standard for measuring growth from others to yourself."
Sora said. "In psychology, it's called 'self-standard evaluation.'"
Kaito thought. "But the result doesn't change. I failed."
"Is the result the only evaluation standard?" Hiyori asked gently.
"That's..."
"How much effort did you make this year?"
Kaito remembered. "True, my study time increased. I overcame subjects I was weak at."
"Isn't that growth?"
"But it didn't show in the results."
Sora said. "Results are determined by many factors. Not controllable by effort alone."
Hiyori continued. "Evaluating yourself by uncontrollable things leads to helplessness."
"Then what should I evaluate?"
"The process. Effort, growth, what you learned. Focus on what you can control."
Kaito's expression brightened a little. "True, I did grow."
Sora smiled. "Besides, your friend's success doesn't mean your failure."
"What do you mean?"
"It's not a zero-sum game," Hiyori explained. "Just because your friend passed doesn't mean your value decreased."
Kaito pondered. "But I keep comparing."
"That's human instinct," Sora acknowledged. "But if you can notice it, you can choose."
"Choose?"
"When you notice comparison, recognize 'Ah, I'm comparing now.' Then, change your perspective."
Hiyori suggested. "You can also see your friend's success as your own possibility."
"Possibility?"
"If your friend passed, you have a chance too. That perspective."
Kaito laughed. "That's positive."
"Cognitive reframing," Sora said. "You can change interpretation of the same fact."
Hiyori said quietly. "Kaito, do you want to say congratulations to your friend?"
Kaito nodded. "I want to. But I can't be honest."
"Accept yourself for not being honest," Hiyori encouraged.
"Isn't that contradictory?"
"Embracing contradiction is human. You don't have to be perfect."
Sora said. "'Congratulations' and 'I'm frustrated' can coexist."
Kaito said slowly. "Can I say both congratulations and that I'm frustrated?"
"That's honest," Hiyori smiled. "If it's good friendship, it will accept that honesty."
Kaito took out his smartphone. "I'll try sending a message."
Outside the window, rain began to fall. The storm in his heart gradually calmed too.
There are days when you can't rejoice in others' happiness. But acknowledging that complexity is where true understanding of yourself begins.