"I apologized, but they won't forgive me."
Irritation seeped into Kaito's voice.
Sora asked carefully. "What happened?"
"I criticized a friend's plan. Said 'You could do better.' But apparently I hurt them."
Leo joined. "How did you apologize?"
"'I didn't mean any harm,' 'It's a misunderstanding.'"
Sora and Leo looked at each other.
"Kaito, that's not an apology," Sora pointed out.
"What?"
Leo began explaining. "In psychology, there's a concept called fundamental attribution error."
"Attribution?"
"Where you attribute the cause of events," Sora supplemented. "You judge causes of your own actions and others' actions with different standards."
"For example?" Kaito asked.
"When you're late, you attribute it to external factors like 'The train was delayed.' When others are late, you attribute it to internal factors like 'They're careless about time.'"
Leo continued. "In your case, 'I didn't mean any harm' is external attribution. Claiming 'My intention was good, the situation was bad.'"
"But I really didn't mean any harm."
"That's the problem," Sora said. "Intent and impact are different things."
"Different?"
Sora drew a diagram. "Sender's intent, message, receiver's interpretation. These three often differ."
"My intent was to suggest improvement."
"But how do you think they received it?"
Kaito thought. "...Rejection?"
"Yes. Regardless of intent, the fact that you hurt them doesn't change."
Leo said with a stern expression. "'I didn't mean any harm' is denial of responsibility. The other person feels their pain is being minimized."
Kaito fell silent.
Sora continued. "Psychologist Heider studied the attribution process. When people seek causes, they tend to interpret favorably for themselves."
"Favorably for themselves?"
"Success is attributed to one's own ability, failure to external factors," Leo explained. "This is called self-serving bias."
"Was I doing that too?"
"'I didn't mean any harm' is a self-protective statement," Sora answered. "But true apology requires accepting responsibility."
Kaito asked. "So how should I apologize?"
Sora took notes. "There are three steps."
"First, acknowledge the other person's pain. 'I'm sorry I hurt you.'"
"Next, understand the impact of your actions. 'I realized my words sounded negative.'"
Leo said the third. "Finally, promise improvement. 'Next time, I'll think about how I say things.'"
"What about explaining my intent?" Kaito asked.
"That comes later," Sora answered. "First acknowledge the pain, then explain the background. Order is important."
Kaito reviewed his notes. "Don't say 'I didn't mean any harm.'"
"Instead, admit 'I meant well, but I was wrong,'" Leo supplemented.
Sora continued. "This is internal attribution. Admitting your own error in judgment."
"But that hurts my pride."
"Yes. That's why it's difficult," Leo acknowledged. "But it's a necessary process to repair the relationship."
Kaito pondered. "Think from the other person's perspective?"
"Exactly," Sora nodded. "It's called empathic perspective-taking. Looking at your own actions from the other person's position."
"I'll try."
Leo warned. "You might not be forgiven in one go. Trust recovery takes time."
"I know."
Sora said gently. "But sincere apology is important as a first step."
Kaito stood up. "I'll go talk to them now."
"Don't rush," Sora stopped him. "First confirm if they're ready to talk."
"How?"
"Send a message. 'I want to apologize. Let me know if you have time to talk.'"
Kaito took out his phone. "At their pace."
"Exactly," Leo acknowledged.
After sending the message, Kaito asked. "Why is this so difficult?"
"Because people prioritize their own intentions," Sora answered. "But in communication, how it's received is everything."
"Intent isn't an excuse."
"Yes. Realizing that is proof of growth."
Kaito's phone vibrated. A reply had come.
"They said we can talk tomorrow."
"Good," Sora smiled.
Kaito looked at them both. "I won't forget what I learned today."
"You can't change what you did," Sora said. "But you can choose how to learn from it."
Leo added. "That's what taking true responsibility means."
Kaito left the room. His posture looked a bit straighter. Learning from mistakes makes people grow. The three knew this.