"I made the same mistake again."
Kaito held his head. In the club room, Leo and Sora were studying.
"What happened?" Leo looked up.
"Same pattern as before. I forgot a promise with a friend and lost trust again."
Sora asked quietly, "When was this?"
"Three years ago too, I did the same thing. Back then, I also hurt an important friend."
"So you're blaming yourself?" Leo guessed.
"Of course. It proves I have no learning ability." Kaito laughed self-deprecatingly.
Sora closed the book. "That might be excessive self-blame."
"Excessive? I deserve to be blamed."
"Self-blame is healthy to some extent," Sora explained. "But when excessive, it's counterproductive."
Leo showed interest. "How is it counterproductive?"
"It hinders behavioral improvement," Sora answered. "You just blame yourself without thinking of constructive measures."
Kaito objected. "But without reflection, I'll repeat the same mistakes."
"Reflection and self-blame are different," Leo said. "Reflection is future-oriented, self-blame is past-oriented."
Sora nodded. "Reflection considers 'how to improve.' Self-blame fixates on 'why I'm bad.'"
"So I'm doing self-blame?" Kaito asked.
"The words 'no learning ability' indicate that," Sora pointed out.
"That's the truth though."
"No, it's cognitive distortion," Leo countered. "You're denying everything based on one failure."
Sora supplemented, "Overgeneralization. Denying your whole self from one event."
Kaito became quiet. "True, not everything is bad, but..."
"Why do you blame yourself so much?" Sora asked.
"Because I can't forgive my past self," Kaito answered honestly.
"The failure three years ago?"
"Yeah. Back then, I really lost an important friend. It's stayed in my heart ever since."
Leo said quietly, "That's guilt."
"Guilt?"
"The feeling that you did something wrong," Sora explained. "Healthy guilt motivates correcting behavior. But excessive guilt is self-destructive."
Kaito asked, "What's excessive guilt?"
"Continuing to suffer over something you can no longer atone for," Leo answered.
Sora added, "And that guilt keeps lowering self-evaluation."
"Then what should I do?" Kaito asked seriously.
"Learn self-compassion," Sora proposed.
"Self-compassion?"
"Being kind to yourself. Treating yourself as you would others."
Leo gave an example. "If a friend made the same mistake, what would Kaito say?"
Kaito thought. "I'd say 'everyone makes mistakes. Just be careful next time.'"
"But to yourself?"
"'No learning ability' 'did it again' 'worthless person.'"
Sora said quietly, "Double standard. Kind to others, harsh to yourself."
"Why are you only harsh on yourself?" Leo asked.
Kaito pondered. "Because I want to punish myself, maybe."
"What do you gain by punishing?" Sora questioned.
"...Nothing. Just suffering."
"Then why continue punishing?"
Kaito answered quietly, "Punishing feels like atoning."
"But you're not actually atoning," Leo pointed out. "Just hurting yourself."
Sora supplemented, "True atonement is changing behavior. Not self-blame, but self-improvement."
Kaito took a deep breath. "So I should forgive my past self?"
"Rather than forgive, accept," Sora answered. "Your past self couldn't do their best. That's a fact. But your current self has grown more."
Leo added, "Your past self and current self are different people. Things you didn't know then, you know now."
"You can't change the past," Sora said. "But you can change the future."
Kaito nodded slowly. "I understand. So I'll think about how to use this failure."
"That's constructive," Leo acknowledged.
Sora proposed, "Set reminders. Write down promises. Concrete measures."
"Stop self-blame there," Leo added.
Kaito brightened a bit. "True, that's more useful."
"Research on self-compassion shows that people who are kind to themselves recover from failures more easily," Sora explained.
"Because they don't blame themselves?"
"Yes. They can view failures as growth opportunities."
Leo said, "No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes."
Kaito laughed. "Leo makes mistakes too?"
"Of course. The other day, I forgot a paper deadline."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. But rather than blame myself, I thought of next measures."
Sora summarized, "Forgiving your past self isn't giving up. It's acknowledging growth and moving forward."
Kaito nodded deeply. "My past self couldn't do their best. But my current self is different."
"Exactly," Leo smiled.
Outside the window, the sunset was fading.
"Stopping self-blame is difficult," Kaito murmured. "But I'll try."
"Little by little is fine," Sora said. "Practice being kind to yourself."
Kaito opened his notebook. He began writing with the title "What I learned from this failure."
Not self-blame, but self-understanding. Not blaming the past, but creating the future. That was true growth.